Something is still Something

Having babies inspired me to become a jogger.  I didn't jog because I loved it. I jogged because my body needed it.  I would pound the pavement mile after mile while shouting to my bundled, snack-toting children: "Your Mama sacrificed her body on the altar of child birth, now you get to spend however long it takes to help me recover from that!"  (not quite Mother-of-the-Year material)

I started signing up for races that would allow strollers to keep me motivated on my daily jogs. Fellow race participants took one look at me and knew that they were assured a placement at least one above last.  I almost always came in dead last.

I signed up for my first marathon because I had a promotion that made the 26.2 mile race cheaper than the 13.1 race.  What a deal, right?!  Yeah, I had NO idea what I was getting into...but I trained for months and I finished the Marathon!

And then I signed up for another marathon and Bryan and I jogged and walked our way to a 26.2 mile victory.

That's when I declared that I wouldn't do another marathon until my kids were old enough to join me.  Training for one of those is crazy. We had to hire babysitters just to get in our long runs.  I mean, really, that's messed up.  

Fast-forward a few years and I concluded that exercising hurts more than not exercising, so I took on a sedentary lifestyle (well, as sedentary as a mother of 4 can rightly have).  After 10-months of my exercise hiatus, I changed my mind.  Being sedentary actually hurts more.  It was time to get active again.  

I made this decision in the dead of winter in Ohio- a rough time to start an outdoor, exercise routine.  But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, so I took on an exercise partner and hit the road.  My energetic partner is super friendly...

...and completely undaunted by snow and 12 degree days.

This week we signed up for our first race.  We will be jogging a 2-mile race at the end of February. Two miles.  We're not yet up to 2 miles completely jogging, but we're training and very excited.  During Thursday's snowy, windy, cooollllddd jog I thought of how lame 2 miles is in light of 26.2.  Yeah, comparison can be a real joy killer.

Last week Bryan and I attended an event where the speaker asked us to think about the number of people that we directly influence over the course of a week. We were told to share our numbers with our table members and tally the total.  Direct influence: well, there's the 5 people I live with and maybe a couple neighbor kids and a girlfriend or two that comes for tea during the week.  I felt like 10 was a generous estimate and Bryan added 17 to that.  Then the guy next to us pronounced 400 as his number.  I tried to muffle my surprise. Four, double zero?  He's a middle school teacher and he has direct influence over lots of people in any given week.  Suddenly, my 10 seemed so small. 

And that's where I've been stuck.

What I can give seems so very, very small.

January was National Human Trafficking Awareness Month in America.  I'm discovering that Human Trafficking is a deeply complicated, confusing form of slavery. Thinking about it only reminds me of how little I have to offer to the solution. 

I read this article from the NYTimes highlighting America's commitment to combat human trafficking. Honestly, I have spent the better part of my life resolved in my commitment to avoid knowing things that I have little to no influence over -- but this line challenged me: "...educating the public about this crime is a vital part of combatting it."  

Well, huh.  I guess that kills my poorly constructed resolution. My paradigm shift for the week: Educating myself and my family is something that I can do to end modern-day slavery.  Okay, so it's not everything, but it's something.

It's good for me to know that as we gather to talk, yell and eat dip, people are being exploited in shocking numbers.

It's good for me to wrestle with the less known issues behind the issues by reading and thinking. 

Yes, deeply dedicated, courageous people run marathons and ultra maratons and they should be applauded.  And there are some who influence hundreds or thousands for generations as they bravely speak up and live out their unique calling.  This is admirable and praiseworthy.

But I am stupid to compare my 2 with 26.2 and short-sighted to devalue my 10 against his 400.  Something is still something and I'd like to bravely and joyfully live out my particular somethings.